HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYBODY!

Have a great 2007!

I wish you a lot of:

1. health
2. love
3. happiness
4. laughter
5. friendship
6. success
7. spare time
8. crazy adventures
9. beautiful sunsets
10. sweet kisses

Honestly, all the best!

My sister is pregnant! I'm so happy! Yippi!!!

I've known for a while, but in the beginning there are always - or can be, complications. So I did not want to really put it out there. Now things seem to be going well. For the Slovenian speakers, you can read her interesting blogg here:

freycha.blogspot.com

I am going to be an uncle. UNCLE! Don't really know what that actually means and entitles... But I wanna be the greatest uncle ever. And Cmoko the other greatest uncle ever!! We wanna take the child to holidays and buy him all the expensive gifts, just to annoy the parents, while we spoil the child completely. Heh heh!

I hope I can be around enough. It's a difficult relationship when one is very far away. I guess I'll just have to make it up for when I'm not there.

But do I want a child? Do we want to have a child. Always a difficult question when it comes to gay couples. I believe I do and Cmoko also. At the moment we're to busy getting our lives sorted out, busy with our careers. And then? Will I be too old. Obviously we would adopt. But I don't want a child to have a grand-father for his father.

There's another question: gay people cannot have children. Especially not men. So are we forsed to completely renounce these natural feelings just because two men cannot conceive a child? Is it the doing of a society? Or do gays just love themselves, their money and the whole gay (in the original sense of the word) lifestyle?

When I was a kid I always wanted a child so that someone would continue the tradition in which I was brought up. That someone would continue my line. That I would not leave this world forgotten. Is that bad? I reckon it's really quite natural (and I really mean natural). We are made to procreate so that we continue the species. It's really quite selfish. Well, we're doing something for the race, not just us personally.

So perhaps these thought are completely legitimate. But they are surely not enought a reason to have a baby. The child ought to be a crown of a realtionship. Should be the product of love. Should be wanted and loved. Should be the most unselfish act of your lives!

I love my sister and am so happy for her! Go girl! You deserve the happines you have. You are going to be the greatest mum! Big kiss!!

After living together since August, Cmoko and I invited a lot of people to come around and celebrate this important step. At the same time we did our birthday party - we have our birthdays only two days apart. I find that really cute!

We lit all the candles in the apartment, so that there was not artificial light. By this I mean electricity. It was really nice and a lot of people came. We had fun till 5 o'clock in the morning. Not a wild party but a relaxed one. So no throwing ups and destroying of the furniture. Well I suppose we're a bit over that teenage "oh how cool, let's get drunk" parties. Strangely, no drugs either. Which only confirms, when the company is right one does not need intoxicating substances.

We got a lot of presents and it was really flattering to hear the comments about us and our lives together. Mostly from the people that are single. But that's the way it is, isn't it? You always see something you yourself don't have. And the happiness of someone else always seems to be just a bit more perfect than your own.

And just because of that I decided to really enjoy my happiness with Cmoko the next day. I could not stop holding him, hugging him and kissing him. When I got up in the morning he was still sleeping. Well, he usually does, the lazy sod... I watched him for a long time. And then took that photo of him. As I write this he's still in bed. Probably in the same pose... hehe... Love you, miško!

I love winter! I think it's one of my favourite seasons if not THE favourite. I just love it when the weather becomes colder and bitter. Of course there are also things I don't like about winter, but there are things I don't like in any of the seasons.

I remember the days when we went to Krvavec, where my family owns a house. We would escape the foggy vale and lift over the white milky veil into the realm of the sun and glistening snow. The realm of the untouchable mountain peaks, wide views and infinite horizons. The cold was incredible and you could feel it in the nostrils. The coldness would sting a bit. And the nose would become red in a matter of seconds. And then the most obvious proof of the monstrous coldness: the creaking of the snow under your boots. The colder it would be – more creaky the sound under the shoes. I absolutely adore that feeling. It’s a dry coldness and does not hurt as much as the horrid humid and muggy cold of the cities.

I always wondered what is it that makes the image of winter so special. The colours are different the images of the places you know are changed.
It was only in the last week that I realized: the sun is so much lower on the vault. Compared to the summer the light comes on a much more direct was and under a bigger angle. The shadows become much longer and the vision a bit more curtained. It gives the nature an intriguing sense of mysteriousness and attraction.

I miss snow. I miss the terrible cold. I miss going to Krvavec with Cmoko, coming to the house, where there’s -5 degrees. We have to light the fire and unpack. To make the things warmer very fast we would have sex or just cuddle for a long time. Then eat and watch TV for a long time. Sleep a bit as well. Funny how clean winter mountain air makes you sleepy and tired at first. I would go skiing the next day, Cmoko does not ski. And he would cook…

I miss my Slovenia. I must stop thinking about past. Must realize that all I ever wanted is here by my side. Which makes me happy. Nostalgia is a dangerous bad habit. December does this to me…