This is a perfect photo of how I felt today. I had a very good conversation with my sister this morning about my parents and their relationship to me. It's all fine as long as it's only me on my own. As soon as I "present" myself with Cmoko, problems arise. I felt depressed and was down mainly because I think that these things should be over and dealt with already. I've been gay my whole life; I had girlfriends to fit into the picture frame of the society I lived in and the one of my parent. As children we always seem to want to please. I wanted even more so. Perhaps because I knew that it will all come out once and Lo! beware thunder and lightning. It was not as bad as I expected, but I lived abroad already one year before I came out to my parents.
Anyway, things seem to be getting nowhere at the moment. As I said, if I come alone is all fine and we're all a happy family, if I mention Cmoko a bit less so, and if I want him to come too, there's trouble. I cannot and will not stand this belittlement. Everyone knows I'm gay, all my family all my friends, only my parents want to act as though it's not really true. All my cousins and my sister always bring partners or spouses to familly gatherings. No one even considers even to think about the fact that I would also want to bring Cmoko along (not that he would be very happy to go anyway - can't blame him). To them I'm supposed to be single, though not quite, since everyone knows I do have a partner. And that he's male. A bizzare situation.
Today it all started because of my mum's birthday celebration preparations and she had no intention whatsoever to invite Cmoko. After being with him for well over 5 years I find this unexceptable! My sister stepped in and she's now the mediator, or so it seems. She's a very wise and prudent woman and knows how to play these games. I usually just explode and then we fight. We will see what will happen in the end. Am really intrigued.
I am prepared to go all the way, I really am. This is no longer a juvenile fling I have. I will not change. If my parents have problem with this, they should solve it. Seek help. I don't know. I had my share of battles getting into terms with my homosexuality. I layed down arms long ago and am a man of peace now. This is how I intend to stay.

So a black day, but with two nice bright rays. It's never just black is it? :)))